Sensuality is a feeling and a state of mind that you can choose—at any adult age—to cultivate. I’ve found that feeling sensual sweetens with age because as you get older, you become more aware, wise, and confident.
To be sensual is to arouse and gratify the senses. This is different from being “sexual” which is more about physical attraction and intimacy. Nurturing ones sensuality does make for better sex, but beyond that—unleashing your sensual side—invigorates and elevates ordinary life experiences into something more fulfilling and absolutely not-boring.
To be sensual is to have a heightened awareness of your sense of sight, smell, sound, taste, and touch and to use them to make you feel amazing.
Elevate Your Senses
Sensuality in “sight” is about looking at something and seeing its beauty. It’s about admiring the lines, curves, and space that an object consumes. Next time you see a flower, sports car, or sculpture stop for a moment and look at it with “sensual” eyes. That means SEE its design.
Appreciate how the artist, engineer, or nature created the lines, curves, and features of the object. Pay attention to the details and then step back and look at it whole. Experience what it is to really see something—the beauty of an object just being—through the filter of your highly aware set of eyes.
When one can see the world (or at least certain things) in this way—with heightened awareness—ordinary life such as walking in nature, sitting at an outside café, perusing a museum can turn into opportunities of magic and awe. The cool thing is you can choose to awaken these visual sense powers at any time.
Sensuality in “smell” is about breathing in the full scent of something and appreciating what that smell does to you and your body. If you really want to know the smell of something, close your eyes, relax your body, and put your nose close to the object and take a slow deep inhale. Monitor any physical changes—goose bumps, shivers, increased muscle relaxation and so on—that may arise from the scent. Notice what thoughts are triggered by its aroma. Examine your feelings that come to life.
To me, this is what the saying “smell the roses” really means. It’s about taking your time, focusing your awareness, and appreciating the life (or chocolate chip cookie) in front of you. Making time to smell things takes life experiences such as picking flowers, drinking wine, or smelling babies to another level. These brief moments, where you choose to slow down and truly smell something is a way to immediately enhance your daily life into the interesting and sometimes, extraordinary.
Sensuality can open the doors to a different way of experiencing life.
3 Sensuality Exercises to Try:
1. Taste Explosion
Take a piece of good chocolate and eat it as slow as possible. Close your eyes, take the smallest bites, and savor every morsel. Recognize your physical reactions to the chocolate, regard what thoughts chocolate brings up for you, and the emotions that awaken by savoring the chocolate.
2. Sound Expansion
Get a pair of headphones, pick a song that means something to you, turn off the lights in the room, and listen with your complete attention to the music. Close your eyes, visualize what the song means to you, observe how your breath and heart beat change with the music, and feel deeply the emotions that are brought up by the words and melody.
3. Morning Revelation
As you begin to wake from sleep, keep your eyes closed, and awaken your senses. What do you feel? What do you hear? What do you smell? Use your fingertips to slowly caress your sheets, blanket, and pj’s. Squeeze your pillow and inhale & exhale deeply. Take stock of your energy level, what thoughts are playing in your mind, and intuitively ask yourself what do you want for breakfast. Finish by hugging yourself and saying something positive about you and your day.
Sensuality is part physical, mental and spiritual. It’s a way of expanding ones awareness to bring more meaning and enjoyment in one’s life.
Everyone can be more sensual if they want.
The featured image in this post is of my client and good friend Jessica. This picture can be seen as sexual, but what I immediately thought when I saw it was — sensual. I thought this picture as sensual because of what I imagined her feeling during that moment.
Feelings such as the silky water flowing down her skin, the fresh smell of soap and the tropics (as this was taken in an outside shower in Seychelles,) and the calming sound of the water hitting the tiles. What also captured my attention was the utter contentment—a mixture of peace and confidence—that exudes from her aura. Other words that came to mind as I looked upon this image was goddess, feminine, freedom, ecstasy, and joy. Here is a woman in total sensual abandon—amazing!
You are Sensual (If You Want to Be)
We don’t have to be in an outdoor shower in a tropical island to feel this good. We can be in our own bathroom—taking a bath, shower, dry brushing, or applying lotion—and create an atmosphere of sensuality by elevating our senses to feel more deeply about what we’re doing.
Being sensual may be difficult for some. It’s unnatural for most of us to be so aware in this way. We go about life in such a fast pace that to take the time to see, smell, hear, taste, and touch something with complete focus may seem like a waste of time. But, as I said, “sensuality sweetens with age” and as years go by we realize how time is precious and experiencing joyful moments is truly worth our time.
If you find yourself thinking you don’t have time to be sensual, it’s wrong to be sensual, you’re too this or that to be sensual — ask yourself why?
Here’s a tip. It’s not about why you don’t have time. The better question is, why won’t you make time for yourself to enjoy life in this way when you can?
If you think it’s wrong to be sensual, ask yourself where did you learn that idea? And is it a thought you want to continue believing? If you think you’re unable to be sensual for whatever reason, ask yourself, when did this start and how can you heal so that you can be more free and sensual.
To Be Sensual is to Be Ageless
Sensuality is part of an ageless lifestyle as it supports optimal health. When you savor food you’re less likely to over-eat, slowing down in general decreases stress, and finding more ways to enjoy life improves your total well-being.
Sensuality raises mind-body-spirit connection. As your awareness and ability to listen to your bio-feedback—the information that your heightened senses give you increases—so will your life and health improve. Sensuality also contributes to a timeless way of being, the cornerstone of youthfulness.
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If you need help cultivating your sensuality and a meaningful life, then check out my life-coaching services.