Too Wise to "Sit Still and Look Pretty"

Too Wise to “Sit Still and Look Pretty”

Have you come to the conclusion yet that your thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter? That even if your ideas are not worldly, in line with others, or perfect — they should matter to you and hopefully your loved ones.

One of the benefits of aging is gaining wisdom and finding our voice to express it when we want or not. (As sometimes not saying something is actually the wisest decision.)

For some, speaking their mind is easy. Others, expressing their heart comes naturally. There are those who are better at one than the other and there are people who can speak clearly from both.

It took years to find my voice—thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that mean something to me—and then more years to gain the courage to express them. My opinions may not be the best, brightest, or wisest, but they are my own and I value them.

Sometimes I choose to speak softly, on occasion, loudly, but no matter, it’s my voice and my right. I feel free to express my thoughts and feelings honestly and do so from a space of love. Time has given this to me and I am thankful.

What do I mean by “voice”?

Your voice is not just your ability to speak, but it’s the way you are able to confidently  express what’s on your mind and in your heart.

Some people are more outspoken than others, while many of us have been taught from a very young age that, “You should be quiet unless spoken to”, “Don’t be too loud”, “We don’t talk about that here”, “You’re too young to speak of such things,” “What do you know”, “Sit still and look pretty,” and so on. For the individuals who heard these phrases over and over again, these teachings may influence how they conduct themselves in their present conversations.

Often times as children, our thoughts, feelings, and ideas were not believed, understood, and / or ignored which taught many of us the negative self-beliefs like, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m stupid”, “I’m bad”, “I’m not capable”, “I’m hopeless,” and other similar disempowering beliefs. Some may still hold on to these limiting beliefs as adults.

Perhaps when we wanted to act or speak from the heart we were discouraged with phrases such as, “Get your head out of the clouds”, “Don’t be so emotional”, “You better toughen up, the world is a danger place”, “You talk too much”, “Your ideas are silly”, “Following your heart doesn’t pay the bills”, and we could go on sharing the many ways we’ve been made to “fall in line,” kowtow, and dial down our emotions and dull down our shine.

From my journey in finding my voice, I offer these three mindful steps to nurture yours. You are too wise my sister to just, “Sit still and look pretty.”

3 Ways to Find and Nurture Your Voice

1. Heal Your Past

The best way to find your voice is to remember how you lost it and to heal those memories. When in your lifetime did you decide speaking your mind was bad?

Finish these sentences:

When I tried to speak out as a kid my parents…

The first time I had to give a speech I remember…

In the past, when I offer my opinion it’s taken…

In order to find your voice, you need to heal the past experiences where you lost it and subsequently developed the limiting beliefs that currently prevent you from speaking more boldly today.

2. Get Honest with Yourself

Take the thing that is hardest for you to talk about and ask yourself the following questions:

Why is it so hard for me to talk about this?

What’s the worst that could happen if I speak up?

What will happen if I don’t say anything?

Putting your fears on paper has a therapeutic and clarifying effect. In writing your thoughts you can see why you have them, what areas in your life need healing, and what your silence is costing you.  From there, you can choose to heal your issues and decide from a space of clarity if you will or won’t speak up. It’s always your right and choice to speak out or not, but don’t let it be a life regret where you wish you tried.

3. Practice Your Voice

Speaking out loud your thoughts and feelings may not be natural to you so practice saying them in private to yourself.

Hear your voice, listen to the words you say, and feel your feelings. As you do so, your conviction will increase and your confidence will rise. If you find that you’re “judging” or somehow being cruel to yourself, stop and apologize.

This would be a great time to chant the Ho’oponopono mantra meditation I spoke of last week where you say, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

In learning to voice your opinions and feelings, self-compassion is important. You have to be kind to yourself. You have to give yourself permission to say what must be said, accept why you must speak up, and love yourself fully for being courageous enough to say it.

A voice borne out of personal struggle is powerful.

Your voice is important, valid, and necessary.

Tweet it like you mean it!

I'm not going to sit still and look pretty. I'm going to ROAR! Click To Tweet

If you need help healing your past and uncovering your voice, then check out my EFT & Matrix Reimprinting services.

Your coach,
Jeanne

Timeless Insights on What’s Possible in Life

Timeless Insights on What’s Possible in Life

Briefly, let me tell you how these insights on “What’s possible in life,” came about. Currently, I am in the middle of a 30 day Ho’opononono life practice and meditation.

Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. (Wiki)

The Ho’oponopono mantra is, “I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

During this time, I’ve meditated and chanted the mantra and tried to live in the spirit of Ho’oponopono. In doing so I have experienced the following:

1. Healing of certain family relationships

2. Healing of personal regret over doing certain things – a true self-forgiveness

3. Clear guidance (such as, gather with others and practice)

4. Feelings of peacefulness and lightness in my day

5. Improved reactions to daily events (easily taking self-responsibility and saying sorry without taking offense)

6. Increased feelings of love, joy, and trust

My results—measurable life improvement—is nothing short of amazing. I know my personal vibration has been elevated because of Ho’oponopono.

During a Ho’oponopono chanting meditation, images, thoughts, and feelings are brought to light. Intense emotions can surface. In my practice, I merely observed the images, thoughts, and emotions that were brought up. I continued with the chanting and in doing so I felt a “healing” of sorts. I felt forgiveness, compassion, lightness, joy, love, and freedom.

After meditating and throughout my day, I would also get insights and deeper understanding of my life which I know was triggered by being in the Ho’oponopono mindset and frequency.

One of my “downloads” was this insight into my relationship with “possibility” and how it has played out in my life. The ideas that came showed me a timeline of my beliefs about what I thought was possible during a certain period of my life. Looking at it from my wisdom of today, I see how I’ve grown.

Thank you for letting me share with you these insights. I’ve tried to give the ideas a bit more context than how I received them and so I hope it is understandable and relatable.

What is possible?

When I was a child, I thought everything was possible. I saw myself as a “lucky baby.” Everything I wanted I was able to manifest. I think back during those times and feel so much comfort that I had this belief and power. 

Through a series of events as a young adult, I thought my luck had run out. Nothing was like I thought it would be and life seemed impossible to bear. I fell into the despair. 

It would be years later that I awaken to the familiar feeling of luck and power. What I mean by this is my ability to make and manifest real change in my life seemed to come back. I became empowered to co-create the kind of life I wanted. 

With this rekindling of what I thought was possible, I tapped into my creative nature. I used my light and dark experiences to explore life’s possibilities. 

Alas, it became clear that I’m not as skilled as when I was a child. Some things were effortless, but on the whole, there was a lag. My luck was not the same and this was confusing. 

Am I not the co-creator of my life? Don’t my thoughts, beliefs, and actions steer me in the direction I wish to go? 

With frustration, I throw my hands up and say, ‘Life is impossible!’

I retreat. I sulk. I lick my wounds. I observe. 

A few years back I created a metaphor for myself. Just like Darwin’s tortoises developed different features—one set of tortoises developed longer necks to eat from higher trees—evolution supporting the animal so that it will get what it needs to survive and thrive, I came to believe, ‘My evolution is inevitable because the universe supports what I reach for.’ 

Aha. 

What if what’s possible is what will be?

Do I need to co-create? Do I even need luck? 

What if by simply existing and being true to my nature I am supported? 

Is it really that simple?

What’s possible for me exists as I exist to experience it. 

Thank you Ho’oponopono for your guidance and light.

Tweet it like you mean it.

I am supported. Click To Tweet

If you need support in creating the life you want, then check out my life-coaching services.

Your coach,

Jeanne

P.S.

If you would like to learn more about Ho’oponopono I recommend the following article: HO’OPONOPONO CAN HELP RESTORE HARMONY WITHIN, AND WITH OTHERS

If you live in the Bay Area, I’m facilitating a guided Ho’oponopono meditation next week. Join us!

No Matter Your Age, Feel Joy in Just Being

No Matter Your Age, Feel Joy in Just Being

I’m reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle for the third time since I first read it about 10 years ago. Each time—because I’m “different” every time I’ve read it—I’ve come away with a new appreciation, perspective, and understanding of myself and life. More importantly, I’m reminded of the fact that we really only have the NOW.

When I think of this statement, that I only have this very moment—the NOW—it reminds me of the saying, “Live each moment like it’s your last,” which I’ve found difficult to accept and follow because to me, this way of thinking is kind of morbid.

The meaning of the saying has you expecting to die that very day and so it doesn’t motivate me as it may others. Perhaps, because I’m all about ageless living—life longevity—this quote is too contrary.

I do agree that we only have the NOW because no one is promised tomorrow. No matter how I—we—plan for a healthy and long life, the universe doesn’t  owe us anything. This is a bummer indeed, but my spiritual beliefs comfort me, so there’s that.

The saying, “Live each moment as if it’s your last,” speaks a truth and intellectually—I get it—but I remain uninspired.

So what does motivate me to be more in the NOW?

Gratitude and joy.

In the NOW, I exist. For my existence, I am grateful. It’s a blessing to age.

When I’m in the NOW, I am filled with joy. It is a blessing to feel joy when you’ve felt and surrendered to the spectrum of other feelings one can feel.

So I don’t think of my NOW as my last moments. I think of them as my blessed moments and that inspires and motivates me to stay present—as best I can.

I say, ‘as best I can’ because unfortunately, falling out of the NOW is easy. But, with “systems” in place—life tools that help me find awareness, joy, and gratefulness sooner—I persevere.

With this joyful and grateful attitude for simply existing, it frees me to take chances, dream more dreams, and energizes me to make each moment that much more meaningful.

Also, I am more timeless in the NOW. Timelessness—as I’ve defined it—is having a mindset where one isn’t worried about time, it’s effects, pressure, and limitations. Being in the NOW is true freedom from time or as Eckhart Tolle says, “psychological time.”

If you, my ageless lifestyle compadre have problems staying present—experiencing the NOW—and you are also unmoved by “living as if it’s your last moment,” then I offer you this way of thinking…

Feel joy in just being.

At the core of this belief is an acceptance that you are enough as you are. If this notion is unbelievable to you just yet, then heal yourself so you awaken to this truth already.

Be grateful for your moments because they are precious. You can prevent a life of regrets through your awareness practice. With this attitude of joy and gratefulness, you’ll find it effortless to be more present.

Tweet it like you mean it!

I am grateful to be alive and so I enjoy my moments. Click To Tweet

If you want help improving your mind, body, and spirit well-being, then check out my life-coaching services.

Your coach,

Jeanne

There are Only Two Things Worth Comparing at this Age

There are Only Two Things Worth Comparing at this Age

The only two things worth comparing at this age—when you’re wise enough to know that comparing in general leads to heartache and stress—is how much peace and love you experience now, in comparison to how you did before.

Having inner peace and experiencing more love is a timeless aspiration.

The more calm, balanced, and in harmony your core being, the more you’re able to handle life’s challenges and surprises. The more love you feel on a daily basis, the more content and fulfilled you find your existence. Being aware of your peaceful state and how love inhabits your life and striving to nurture these aspects on a day-to-day basis is a task worth the effort.

I stress that these are the only two things worth comparing because all other things such as happiness, success, fitness, health, and so on, are for the most part, in a state of flux and comparing them will likely lead to disappointment.

For example, it’s impossible to be happy all the time and to compare your happiness—from one day to the next—would only create stress and unhappiness. I would contend that it’s unnatural to be happy all the time.

You should be able to feel the full spectrum of feelings without the pressure of having to make yourself feel happy if that’s not what you’re feeling. Sometimes, what’s good for us is to surrender to our ugly feelings. There are valuable life lessons and personal growth that come from experiencing sadness, anger, loss, and so on.

To compare our success level from day-to-day can also promote harsh self-judgement and place unrealistic demands on ourselves. I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to achieve goals. Instead, we ought to reach for goals with a sense of timelessness—where we believe we have all the time in the world and that it’s never too late for us to do what we want to do.

If you know that you’ll get done what you’re supposed to get done and you’re not a person who procrastinates, then comparing your daily effort would be like micromanaging yourself. In the history of the world, being micro-managed has never been fun and it can be argued that it was hardly helpful.

To compare our fitness from one day to the next is to be too critical of ourselves. First, our body is always adapting to its environment. Our mood, stress state, nutrition, hormone balance, quality of sleep and so on affect our energy level which contributes to our fitness readiness. Second, to always expect oneself to do more, be better, and to constantly improve upon the efforts of the previous day will only lead to a mind and body breakdown.

The popular fitness and motivational meme saying, “I just want to be better than I was yesterday,” is a recipe for beating yourself up because it doesn’t consider all the variables that affect your mind, body, and spirit well-being. It also lends one to think that we are not good enough as we are—that we should always be doing something to improve ourselves so that we can be seen as good, smart, successful, beautiful, or whatever else we think we are lacking as in the other saying, “Make your weaknesses as strong as your strengths.”

It’s not to say that self-improvement is bad—striving to do better is a good thing for the most part—but underneath our efforts should exist the feeling of acceptance and compassion. If you don’t love and accept yourself with all your imperfections already—even when you achieve what you want—you will find something else about you that is unacceptable and unlovable.

Also, we really only have the NOW—right? Because no one is promised a future. Don’t forget, it’s a blessing to grow older as many don’t even get the chance. It’s best to love and accept the person you are already or you might lose the opportunity of knowing and loving the real you—a life regret that would be for certain.

Nurture Peace and Love

You might be wondering, if  the act of comparing usually creates negative feelings and limiting self-beliefs, then wouldn’t comparing the level of peace and love we feel do the same?

I say no because once you turn your attention to asking yourself, “How much peace and love do I feel,” or, “How can I find more peace and love right now,”—something beautiful happens in your mind, body, and spirit.

Do this awareness exercise now and really follow through on answering the questions.

Ask yourself, “How much love and peace do I feel at this moment?” 

Close your eyes and do it.

Did you notice what happened to your body? I’m 99% positive you just took a deep breath. I’m also sure that your mind instantly found more peace during and after that breath and your heart energy expanded in your chest.

Ask yourself, “How much more love and peace do I feel now compared to yesterday?” 

Close your eyes and think about it.

I am willing to bet you’re drawing a blank thought.

It’s the darndest thing. Our brains easily tally and keep track of our painful, annoying, irritable, and generally bad feelings, but it doesn’t seem to be as diligent in recording our happier states of being.

So when we’re trying to compare our present feelings of peace and love against our past experiences, we either don’t remember them and if by chance we can recollect, we seem to not judge ourselves too harshly on any differences we find. Additionally, our mind automatically creates feelings of peace and love as soon as we cast our attention to it. Our body follows suit by slowing down our breathing, relaxing our muscles, and increasing our body awareness as if to promote a state where we can feel more peace and love.

The longer we dwell in searching—feeling—more peace and love in our present moment, we “ground” ourselves. We check in with our “high-self”—spirit—or whatever you want to call the state of being you inhabit when you are filled with love and peace energy.

Here’s another question to ask yourself, “How can I find more peace and love at this moment?” 

Close your eyes and ask yourself.

What happened? I have a sneaking suspicion that your intuition/spirit/heart mind gave you an answer.

This is probably one of the best questions to ask yourself on a daily basis. Doing so will “ground” you, aid in achieving better mind-body-spirit coherence, and help you nurture your feelings of peace and love. I highly recommend that you pose this question to yourself when you’re feeling your “ugly” feelings.  But, only do so after you have sufficiently observed and surrendered to “feeling” your ugly feelings and concluded that it’s time to bring peace and love into the equation.

May your feelings of peace and love always grow.

Tweet it like you mean it!

It's my nature to feel peace and love. Click To Tweet

If you want help creating a healthier, happier, and more satisfying life, then check out my life-coaching services.

Your coach,

Jeanne

It's About Time You Water Your Grass

It’s About Time You Water Your Grass

A few people have been credited with  saying, “the grass is greener where you water it.” It doesn’t matter who said it, but when I heard it—it was a light-bulb moment.

Too bad I learned this belief in my late thirties—it sure would’ve been useful to know sooner—but since I’m timeless and I know it (teehee), I’ve applied it to everything ever since!

Real-life examples of how I’ve put this idea to work:

My Sex Life

In my late 30’s my libido and need for romance awakened—big time. I’ve always had friends and knew of people who were sexually free and basically had a lot of sex. I never saw myself as that person. It was in my mind that I could take or leave sex. In fact, before being with my partner of 13 years, I was celibate for almost 3 years.

Then, something happened. I don’t know if it was hormones or this thing that women go through around that time, but I woke up one day and I had these needs. I wanted more kindness, gentleness, and flirting. I wanted more compassion, connection, and touching. Does this resonate with any of my sisters of a certain age?

Not that I didn’t have kindness, compassion and gentleness in my life before, but the need for it became a priority. I had a good amount of touching and flirting with my partner, but then it became a bigger need. I wanted more.

The more popular “grass” quote is, “the grass is always greener on the other side,” and that’s how I saw sex and romance—as something other people experienced more than me. I decided to fix that. If “the grass is greener where I water it,” then I was going to make it rain! 😀

Sh!z got real when I decided to focus the work on myself. I realized, ‘oh, I’m not a sexual person because I have such and such “issues” from my bad experiences and learned such and such “beliefs” from them.’  So I had to heal that stuff. Through a surrendering process and Matrix Reimprinting, I healed those bad memories and limiting beliefs. 

Next, in my “make it rain” program, I decided to bring forth more “romantic and sexual” energy around me. I worked on my root and sacral chakras to make sure they were balanced and happy. I dressed up—make-up, clothes, perfume and so on—invoking my feminine divine.

I did sensuality awakening exercises. I read romance novels every evening before bed. (I wanted to bring that romance book sex into my real life!) I read other books about healthy love relationships and communication.

All this self-work gave me the confidence to speak out loud—to my receptive and adoring partner—and say what I wanted in a way where he could hear me. (He’s not always “receptive & adoring,” but since I know my words, thoughts, and beliefs have power—I focus on these traits of his.)

Jeanne's Bring Back Romance Vision BoardAlso, this energy is not slowing down for me. Now in my 40’s, it’s even more important that I continue to “water” this baby. And yes, zee plan is working! 😉

Check out my vision board that I created from my last Vision Board Workshop I taught in San Francisco. 

My Career

Another time when I decided to “water my grass” was when I became dissatisfied with my career. Having a career that I enjoyed was not foreign to me, I chose to work in the health and fitness industry because I really liked it and thought it was a good way to make a living. But, the idea of doing something I loved and was passionate about—and making real money doing that—was not as believable.

I saw how others were able to do it—but in my mind—those guys had something I didn’t.  They were more special than me. They were more qualified than me. They were more deserving than me. I thought their grass was greener!

This kind of thinking was wrong and without having to tell you the whole process, which was very similar to the example above—healing negative self-beliefs and inundating myself with what I really wanted to do—I decided to go after my dreams of being a life-coach and healer.

My Hobbies

One more example where I used this system of refocusing my attention and energy to get more out of life was when I got in a creative and passionless funk and was jealous that my boyfriend had all these fun and exciting outlets.

My partner always inspires me. I have great regard for his ability to learn, focus, and be disciplined. I admire his work ethic that pushes him to go after what he wants and how he becomes generally exceptional at them.

Though, at some point — it became annoying.

I admit that I became jealous that he’s this awesome attorney who helps others and basically, I see him as a “power for good” and then he goes and has cool hobbies too. (The nerve!)

He’s an accomplished electronic music composer. Creating music in his spare time that to me, is so moving and beautiful. He also has a great eye for art and photography and creates his own “photo manipulation art” which again, is amazing.

To top it off, he races motorcycles. He has this slick sexy machine and gets to wear a super-hero looking leather suit! (I want a super-hero outfit!) Anyway, more than anything, he has so much passion for motorcycles that it just makes me green with envy.

I want to be passionate about something so much that I get super excited every time I have a chance to do it. (Who wouldn’t want that?!)

I used to feel that way when I was learning ballroom dance, but that feeling faded when too much “competition energy” was placed on me. I was always super excited when I designed mobile apps. I felt totally consumed by the creative fervor when I was building them that I would forgo sleep to get it done. It was awesome.

I was passionate about writing music too, even coming out with an album many years back. I wrote a few wellness and children’s books because I was inspired. I realize my passions come and go and that’s OK. I have a feeling something will blossom within me soon enough as long as I’m “watering my grass” by doing and following what excites me.

What areas in your life do you want to focus your energy so that it becomes more of what you want?

If you have an idea—go water it.

Heal your blocks. Surround yourself with the energy you want and make it happen for yourself. Isn’t it about time you watered your own grass?!

Tweet it like you mean it!

The grass is greener where I water it. Click To Tweet

If you want help refocusing your energy so that you can enjoy life more, then check out my life-coaching services.

Your coach,

Jeanne
photo credit: Chuva, suor e cerveja via photopin (license)

Reaching for Dreams and Aspirations After 40 (Yes, it's a thing)

Reaching for Dreams and Aspirations After 40 (Yes, It’s a thing)

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.  ~ George Eliot

You’re never too old to pursue your dream. It may not be the same dream from when you were young—as dreams evolve just like you—but going after dreams, goals, and life aspirations ought to never end.

Many of us want to improve our circumstances. At the same time—as we get older—it’s less about having things and more about expanding our experiences, growth, and fulfillment. Because we’re older, we realize “things” come and go, but our feelings, experiences, and shared memories—the priceless stuff—are the things that make life worth living.

If you’re in this state of mind, the dreams and aspirations after the age of 40 are less about wanting more or being dissatisfied with what you have, but instead are a desire to satisfy curiosity, creativity, and a sense of adventure.

Don’t let society, other people’s judgments, and especially your own self-critic fool you—you have a curious side, you are creative in your own way, and you can be more adventurous if you want. Your older age actually helps you in these areas of your life because with age comes experience, knowledge, and perspective—your own valuable opinions about life.

By this time, you know what intrigues you and what you find uninteresting. After years of living, you’ve developed opinions and though your ideas may not be perfect — guess what? At this age, you’ve learned nobody is perfect. Frankly, your opinions need only be valued by you and hopefully, your loved ones too. With your unique perspective on life, you can cultivate new dreams and reach for goals that have significance to you.

If you want, the aspirations you reach for after the age of forty can be more meaningful and extraordinary.

Purposeful Living

When dreams and aspirations have meaning, they become a purpose. Some people find their purpose early in life and others a tad later. This is normal. People’s life purpose also evolve as they age.

The purpose that blooms later in life tends to have more value because you draw your understanding—wisdom—from a deeper well of experiences.

Years of observation, action, and reflection brings you to this purpose. Some would say, their life “lead” them to their purpose.

You are Timeless

When you adopt a timeless way of being you accept that you have all the time in the world to do what you’re supposed to do. It becomes a core belief that props your thoughts, actions, and dreams.

You breathe easier, relax into your moments, and move at your own (divinely inspired) pace. With this mindset, age is irrelevant and curiosity, creativity, and a life filled with adventure manifest with ease.

Forty is fabulous, but so will your 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and so on. Believe this like your happiness depends on it because it does.

7 Ways to Cultivate a Dream at Any Age

1. That Fire is Your Dream

Ask yourself, what excites you? What topic gets you fired up that when you speak about it, people feel your enthusiasm?

Once you’ve got it — dive in. Build your confidence and immerse yourself in the information, culture, and speak/do/practice it every chance you get.

2. Your Heart Knows the Dream

What calls to you? What tugs at your heart strings and moves you?

Pinpoint this and let your heart lead the way. When your dreams are motivated by your heart—watch out world—something inspiring is about to emerge.

3. You’ve had the Dream

Dust off the dreams you once had. Reimagining an old dream with fresh eyes, a compassionate heart, and a seasoned life can give it new energy and meaning.

4. Get All “Oprah” on Your Dreams

Ask yourself, what has not following your dreams and goals cost you? What are your life regrets?

What would happen if your dream or goal came true? How would your life change?

Who would be happy for you that your dreams have become your reality? And who would be unhappy for you? I pose this question because the answer to the latter is a telltale sign of a block you have from going after your dreams. Heal that block.

5. Visualize Your Dream

Create a vision board depicting your dreams and aspirations. Then spend time thinking—visualizing—that it’s your reality. Feel it intensely and act purposefully toward its inevitable outcome.

If you live in the Bay Area, I’m giving a Vision Board Workshop in San Francisco at Tantara Wellness Center. Join me if you can and let’s get you moving toward your dreams!

meetupIntrenational6. Get on a Dream Team

There are others like you who have similar wishes and goals in life. Find them and create a community where you support each other in your endeavors. Meetup is a great organization to find people just like you that meet all over the world.

7. Make a Bucket-list of Dreams

You are free to dream as much as you like. =)

Studies have shown goals and dreams that are written down are more likely to be achieved. Increase the likelihood for each of your dreams, goals, and aspirations by putting a few small steps that you can take now next to it so that you move towards your dream.

Tweet it like you mean it!

I have a dream and I'm going for it! Click To Tweet

If you want help making your dreams come true then check out my life-coaching services.

ROAR!

Your coach,

Jeanne

How to Overcome Procrastination Effectively

Your Time is NOW: How to Overcome Procrastination Effectively

Learn a holistic concept to overcome procrastination and let your “someday” be now.

Procrastination is defined as “the act of delaying or postponing,” but if we’re really honest, procrastination is a form of avoidance.

You avoid whatever it is you must, should, or want to do through delaying, postponing, and even deferring to do other activities that are either more pleasurable or less difficult.

We have all procrastinated and that’s why house chores get neglected, homework is done last-minute, and projects are pushed back. Eventually, this stuff gets done and the setback isn’t too regrettable.

But, how about when we procrastinate on more important stuff like telling people how we feel, or when we avoid going to the doctor, or when we keep saying “someday” on that dream or life goal. In these instances, procrastinating can lead to a life of regrets.

Why do we avoid things that are important to our health, happiness, and well-being?

I believe we procrastinate in these cases out of fear and negative beliefs.

There are underlying fears that stop some of us from following through, being more assertive, and / or proactive. We may also possess limiting beliefs that prevent us from pursuing our goals, expressing our feelings, and living out a more brave existence.

Do the following exercise:

  • Think of something important that you should be doing, but you’re not.
  • Say it out loud, “I should ______________________________”
  • Close your eyes and ask yourself, “Why am I not doing this — what am I afraid of?”

Your answer will either be a fear of some sort, a negative belief, or a combination of the two.

For example, someone might answer with:

“I should lose weight.”

“I’m afraid because I think it will be too hard. I’ve tried before and I gained it all back. I’ll probably always be overweight.”

In this example, you can see why this person  might have reservations and what kind of negative beliefs may be blocking their ability to lose weight.

From this example, the fear is that it will be difficult and failure is likely. The possible limiting beliefs are “I can’t do it”, “I’m not good enough”, and maybe even, “life is hopeless.”

Without going too far off topic, let’s explore this example of “weight loss” as it will lead us to our method of overcoming procrastination.

Weight loss is not an easy fix. Many factors contribute to why a person has gained weight and has a hard time losing it. Genetics, habits, experiences, knowledge, resources, fears, and beliefs all play a part. But, if you can fix the fears, negative beliefs, and heal the bad experiences — the other things become easier to handle.

Your life is not solely dictated by your genes or your history for that matter. You always have options. You just have to be aware of them and clearing out your fears and limiting beliefs will help.

Think of weight loss as a huge dining table you want to get rid of. The tabletop is the “problem”—the weight—and the legs are the experiences, beliefs, fears, and whatever other “blocks” that are supporting the problem.

In order for you to get rid of this table—because it’s big and can’t fit through the door of your house—you have to chop off the legs. You “chop off the legs” by healing and remedying the blocks, fears, beliefs, and bad experiences.

When you take down enough legs, the table collapses—the person loses weight. Since the major issues that were preventing the weight loss are fixed—this time—the weight stays off.

“Collapse the Table” to Solve Your Procrastination Problems

  • Think of the tabletop as the thing you should be doing but you’re not.
  • Imagine the legs of the table are your fears, negative beliefs, and bad life experiences —the reasons you procrastinate.
  • Chop off the legs.

By doing this you will remove the reasons why you’ve procrastinated. When there is no reason to avoid a situation or problem, you’ll have the ability and clarity to face it and address it as best you can.

Apply this strategy to stop your “avoidance” practice. Use it on important goals that affect your health, happiness, and well-being.

Imagine for a moment what it would be like to say what you want to say, do what you want to do, and be who you want to be without fear or delay.

  • How awesome would that be?
  • How would your life improve?
  • Can you see how happy, content, and at peace you would be?

You can use any therapy that works for you to “collapse the table” and “chop off the legs.” I’ve found that EFT & Matrix Reimprinting to be the most efficient. EFT being the fastest way to resolve emotional problems and Matrix Reimprinting being the most effective way to heal bad memories, traumas, and limiting beliefs.

The main takeaway for overcoming procrastination is to get to the core reasons why you do it in the first place—the fears and negative beliefs.

Watch this video, learn EFT, and have this amazing self-help tool at your fingertips so that you’ll procrastinate less.

If you live in the Bay Area join my EFT group meetup.

San Francisco EFT Group Meetup

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If you need help overcoming procrastination—if you want to “chop” some serious legs so you can get going on what you want to do—then check out my EFT & Matrix Reimprinting Services.

ROAR!

Your coach,

Jeanne

 

6 Steps to Look & Feel Your Best at Special Events and Life Milestones

6 Steps to Look & Feel Your Best at Special Events and Life Milestones

As we age, milestone events come at a faster rate. It can seem like we’re celebrating a “big” birthday sooner than later. We find ourselves commemorating different types of “anniversaries” from love and commitment to work and achievements. In the recent picture above, I’m celebrating my 13th anniversary with my love.

Then, faster than you can find out what “adulting” means, it’s time for the class reunion!

Whether you’re attending a dear friends wedding or planning a once in a lifetime vacation, here are mindful and holistic steps to look and feel your best.

1. “Feel your feelings” about the impending event.

  • Do you have any apprehension or anxiety about it?
  • What are your worries if any?
  • What does the event mean to you?
  • Do you have a positive or negative feeling about the event?

Life milestones have a way of bringing to light our deepest worries and fears.

Take note of these different thoughts and feelings. Reason what you can and heal what you are able to. In this way your “feelings” are felt, you address them as best you can, and hopefully you get more freedom, peace, and happiness by dealing with them instead of brushing them off. Ignoring your feelings only leads to regret and unhealed wounds.

2. Mentally prepare for the event.

Create a positive mindset so you can enjoy yourself. 

  • What do you want to happen at the event? 

Get clear, then see it in your mind’s eye, and envision the day as you would hope it would be.

  • Who do you want to see?

Freely imagine the interesting conversations and interactions with those people. See yourself having fun with them!

  • How do you want to feel?

Visualize yourself in a great mood and stir these feelings within already. Feeling happy before the event will help assure a pleasant evening.

Attitude is everything when you’re trying to have a good time.

3. Plan as best you can.

A clear yet general idea of what you want will be easier to accomplish and relish.

Think of this as “Goldilocks” planning. Not too much, not too little, but just right.

Wisdom tells us that too much planning can be stressful. When we try to control every detail of an event or occasion it almost always leads to headache and frustration. On the other hand, not enough planning can bring about other stresses such as the unease of “not knowing” and disappointment.

To find that middle ground—the “just right” feeling—your expectations of the event have to be more about what you want to “feel” rather than see. With that said, once you’ve gotten the “feeling” you want, you generally like what you see.

4. Get in better physical shape for the event — if you like.

Feeling good about your health and physical appearance is a healthy aspiration. After all, we should care for the temple that houses our soul.

With my clients, I promote an individualized and intuitive-eating and ageless-living lifestyle and not any crash course diet or generalized fitness plan.

In any case, if you’re motivated to make a few lifestyle changes for an event—go for it. Perhaps you may like the results so much that you will adopt a healthier lifestyle.

If you’re healthy and have no medical conditions that can worsen if you alter your diet, then you may want to do the following to look and feel your best.

  • 2 weeks out – cut out all processed food
  • 7 days out – cut out all sugar and fruit
  • 3 days out – cut out “added” salt and other sodium laden foods

Throughout the 2 weeks eat normally—with healthy-size portions—just remove the processed foods and such from your diet. You can work out as you usually would or increase it by a tad. Don’t overdo your workouts because if you’re not use to doing a lot, you can risk injury.

Depending on the individual, the above meal plan—while eating normal portions—can help a person lose 3-7 pounds in 2 weeks. If you follow this eating plan, you do so at your own risk.  Please make smart and loving decisions about your health.

5. Shine like you mean it!

Our outer beauty is best enhanced through our inner work.

The more self-love we possess, the less stressed-out we are, and the more kindness we show — the more beautiful and timeless we become. This is first and foremost. Then, add to that a little self-care and personal attention and you will shine bright like a diamond!

Small things you can do to increase your confidence and good feelings for an event is to wear an outfit that makes you feel amazing, put make-up to accent your features, wear jewelry that makes you feel special, and spray a little perfume to get you in the mood.

Bigger things you can do is to get your hair and nails done. A relaxing massage before an event is nice to calm the nerves and make you feel at ease. A quick exercise session will also relieve tension while increasing your “feel-good” hormones.

The key to dressing for an event is to dress for the occasion, stay true to your personal style, and feel comfortable in what you’re wearing. Ideally, your clothes, jewelry, and make-up should enhance how you want to “feel.”

6. Seize the day!

On the day of the event permit yourself to have fun.

Connect. Laugh. Eat and drink to be satisfied and merry.

Most of all, be present and let your inner beauty shine. 

Remember, this is just one moment in your lifetime. Take it in.

Flow. Dance. Smile.

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If you need help creating your ageless lifestyle and overall healthy, happy, and positive attitude, then check out my life-coaching services.

Your coach,

Jeanne

A Timeless Rant on Judgement and Perfection

A Timeless Rant on Judgement and Perfection

I concluded that I judged others because I judged myself. For the last few months I’ve tried to instill a new belief, “The less I judge myself, the less I judge others.” I want to adopt this idea because I prefer not to be judgmental. 

At the same time, I learned I had a tendency to judge others—including myself—against what the “perfect person” would do.

I got this idea from the book The Queen’s Code by Alison A. Armstrong. In her book she uses this idea to explain why women may get upset at the behavior of men because they compare “his” actions against what a perfect woman would do.

It’s impossible for any man or woman to live up to a perfect person.

Moreover, since there is no perfect person, this “comparing” business is just painful and fruitless.

From here on—along with judging less—I will also give up judging others against the perfect person. But, if I do judge—because I’m not perfect and sometimes it happens—I find myself judging others with more compassion than I do myself.

I am more understanding when others are not perfect — when they seem not to know what to say or do. I forgive people easily for making mistakes and for misbehaving. I even go beyond compassion and actually feel empathy.

This is well and good, but where is that compassion and empathy when it comes to Jeanne not being perfect? Where is the understanding when she doesn’t know what to say or do?!

I should have more compassion for myself because I know my whole story.

I know my upbringing. I know my thoughts.  I know my feelings. I know the actions I have taken.

I know what my butt has been through—and pardon my French—but I should be understanding as f*ck towards my not knowing, my mistakes, my imperfections, and so on.

Do you feel what I’m saying? I think you do. I’m assuming we have this in common.

We judge ourselves too harshly against an ideal that isn’t real.

Now that I’m privy to this personal flaw, I’m going to show me some kindness.

I’m going to say ‘sorry’ to myself. I’ll tell myself, ‘You’re doing your best and you’re a good person.’

I’m going to listen to my feelings and let myself vent. I’m going to surrender to not being perfect—or not being like my mother, my sisters, or some woman who I think has the answers.

I will forgive myself. I’ll heal the experience that taught me I needed to be perfect to be loved, accepted, and understood. (What a load of poop!)

I’m going to love and accept myself as I am—imperfect—because I deserve it.

Furthermore, only I can give this kind of compassion to myself because no one knows me better than me. In this, I am the perfect woman for the job.

Last thought…

I—WE—need to let go of self-judgement.

We are too old (a phrase you’ll rarely hear from me) and hopefully wise enough to realize that though self-criticism can lead to change—more than not—it leads us to just feeling bad about ourselves.

Changing and bettering ourselves is admirable, but if we’re measuring ourselves against an unachievable ideal — we will fail miserably and where will that get us? I’m guessing a life with regrets.

That just won’t do because there is no perfect:

  • Daughter/Son
  • Wife/Husband
  • Mother/Father
  • Sister/Brother
  • Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  • Pet
  • Body
  • Relationship
  • Religion
  • Spiritual path
  • Meditator
  • Career
  • Cook
  • Home-maker
  • Writer
  • Speaker
  • Teacher
  • Candidate
  • _____________

And one more thing…

In addition to not being perfect, let’s revel in our imperfections because this makes us unique.

No one else can play the part of you better than you.

With our imperfections, we are still strong enough to handle our trials.

With our flaws, we are still smart enough to solve our problems.

With our limitations, we are still capable enough to navigate a happy, satisfying, and love-filled life.

Yes. YOU and ME.

As I’ve said before—You are the leading lady of your life-story—and all memorable women are complex and flawed in their own way.

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Your coach,

Jeanne

Sensuality Sweetens with Age (If You Want)

Sensuality Sweetens with Age (If You Want)

Sensuality is a feeling and a state of mind that you can choose—at any adult age—to cultivate. I’ve found that feeling sensual sweetens with age because as you get older, you become more aware, wise, and confident.

To be sensual is to arouse and gratify the senses. This is different from being “sexual” which is more about physical attraction and intimacy. Nurturing ones sensuality does make for better sex, but beyond that—unleashing your sensual side—invigorates and elevates ordinary life experiences into something more fulfilling and absolutely not-boring.

To be sensual is to have a heightened awareness of your sense of sight, smell, sound, taste, and touch and to use them to make you feel amazing.

Elevate Your Senses

Sensuality in “sight” is about looking at something and seeing its beauty. It’s about admiring the lines, curves, and space that an object consumes. Next time you see a flower, sports car, or sculpture stop for a moment and look at it with “sensual” eyes. That means SEE its design.

Appreciate how the artist, engineer, or nature created the lines, curves, and features of the object. Pay attention to the details and then step back and look at it whole. Experience what it is to really see something—the beauty of an object just being—through the filter of your highly aware set of eyes.

When one can see the world (or at least certain  things) in this way—with heightened  awareness—ordinary life such as walking in nature, sitting at an outside café, perusing a museum can turn into opportunities of magic and awe. The cool thing is you can choose to awaken these visual sense powers at any time.

Sensuality in “smell” is about breathing in the full scent of something and appreciating what that smell does to you and your body. If you really want to know the smell of something, close your eyes, relax your body, and put your nose close to the object and take a slow deep inhale. Monitor any physical changes—goose bumps, shivers, increased muscle relaxation and so on—that may arise from the scent. Notice what thoughts are triggered by its aroma. Examine your feelings that come to life.

To me, this is what the saying “smell the roses” really means. It’s about taking your time, focusing your awareness, and appreciating the life (or chocolate chip cookie) in front of you. Making time to smell things takes life experiences such as picking flowers, drinking wine, or smelling babies to another level. These brief moments, where you choose to slow down and truly smell something is a way to immediately enhance your daily life into the interesting and sometimes, extraordinary.

Sensuality can open the doors to a different way of experiencing life.

3 Sensuality Exercises to Try:

1. Taste Explosion

Take a piece of good chocolate and eat it as slow as possible. Close your eyes, take the smallest bites, and savor every morsel. Recognize your physical reactions to the chocolate, regard what thoughts chocolate brings up for you, and the emotions that awaken by savoring the chocolate.

2. Sound Expansion

Get a pair of headphones, pick a song that means something to you, turn off the lights in the room, and listen with your complete attention to the music. Close your eyes, visualize what the song means to you, observe how your breath and heart beat change with the music, and feel deeply the emotions that are brought up by the words and melody.

3. Morning Revelation

As you begin to wake from sleep, keep your eyes closed, and awaken your senses. What do you feel? What do you hear? What do you smell? Use your fingertips to slowly caress your sheets, blanket, and pj’s. Squeeze your pillow and inhale & exhale deeply. Take stock of your energy level, what thoughts are playing in your mind, and intuitively ask yourself what do you want for breakfast. Finish by hugging yourself and saying something positive about you and your day.

Sensuality is part physical, mental and spiritual. It’s a way of expanding ones awareness to bring more meaning and enjoyment in one’s life.

Everyone can be more sensual if they want.

The featured image in this post is of my client and good friend Jessica. This picture can be seen as sexual, but what I immediately thought when I saw it was — sensual. I thought this picture as sensual because of what I imagined her feeling during that moment.

Feelings such as the silky water flowing down her skin, the fresh smell of soap and the tropics (as this was taken in an outside shower in Seychelles,) and the calming sound of the water hitting the tiles. What also captured my attention was the utter contentment—a mixture of peace and confidence—that exudes from her aura. Other words that came to mind as I looked upon this image was goddess, feminine, freedom,  ecstasy, and joy. Here is a woman in total sensual abandon—amazing!

You are Sensual (If You Want to Be)

We don’t have to be in an outdoor shower in a tropical island to feel this good. We can be in our own bathroom—taking a bath, shower, dry brushing, or applying lotion—and create an atmosphere of sensuality by elevating our senses to feel more deeply about what we’re doing.

Being sensual may be difficult for some. It’s unnatural for most of us to be so aware in this way. We go about life in such a fast pace that to take the time to see, smell, hear, taste, and touch something with complete focus may seem like a waste of time. But, as I said, “sensuality sweetens with age” and as years go by we realize how time is precious and experiencing joyful moments is truly worth our time.

If you find yourself thinking you don’t have time to be sensual, it’s wrong to be sensual, you’re too this or that to be sensual — ask yourself why?

Here’s a tip. It’s not about why you don’t have time. The better question is, why won’t you make time for yourself to enjoy life in this way when you can?

If you think it’s wrong to be sensual, ask yourself where did you learn that idea? And is it a thought you want to continue believing? If you think you’re unable to be sensual for whatever reason, ask yourself, when did this start and how can you heal so that you can be more free and sensual.

To Be Sensual is to Be Ageless

Sensuality is part of an ageless lifestyle as it supports optimal health. When you savor food you’re less likely to over-eat, slowing down in general decreases stress, and finding more ways to enjoy life improves your total well-being.

Sensuality raises mind-body-spirit connection. As your awareness and ability to listen to your bio-feedback—the information that your heightened senses give you increases—so will your life and health improve. Sensuality also contributes to a timeless way of being, the cornerstone of youthfulness.

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If you need help cultivating your sensuality and a meaningful life, then check out my life-coaching services.

ROAR!

Your coach,

Jeanne